What If

I woke up at 3 a.m. this morning wondering what if this Thanksgiving was my last one. Morbid thought. Probably normal though. While I am pretty OK with walking through what is coming my way, I have my moments and apparently 3 a.m. this morning was one of those moments. I laid there for awhile just kind of feeling those feelings and then thinking about how many people probably had their last Thanksgiving and have no clue that it possibly could be. People die suddenly every day; some very tragically. Would they have spent Thanksgiving any differently had they known?

I decided a long time ago not to live my life by the what ifs but also realized early this morning that it is not such a bad thing to consider the what ifs. I enjoyed the holiday tremendously. I spent Thanksgiving morning at Fredericksburg Baptist facilitating breakfast for the community. What made it very special is that Ryan was there too. He chopped potatoes and cooked eggs. It was a nice mom moment. Michael arrived later with Frankie and later, Michael, Ron, Ryan and I all enjoyed a nice dinner. Frankie and Ginger parked themselves on the floor near the table in hopes that we would include them in the fun. No stress; just a nice day.

Candy cane Saturday was a lot of fun. I made a new pie which Michael willingly ate first in case it was not good so we could quietly remove it from the dessert table should it have been a failure. Is he a great son or what?

I have no clue if my re-diagnosis has helped me appreciate the days a bit more, but I will take it. I have said for years that my biggest fear as a parent would be that my children did not truly know that they were loved. My diagnosis years ago and this re-diagnosis helps me see that I have not failed and therefore I have nothing to fear.

Tasing Grandma and Suspending 6-Year-Old Boys

It must be time for me to truly quit watching the news. Many may remember or have seen the YouTube of the grandmother down in Texas who the cop pulled over to give a speeding ticket to. She resisted arrest and he tased her. The whole thing was caught on tape. First she refuses to sign the ticket. She is then seen refusing to follow instructions and he warns her that he is going to taze her. She dares him and he is left with really no choice, other than to do it. While tasering a little old lady looks pretty ridiculous, what would have been terrible is if this same little old lady did something to the cop, because he let his guard down, being deferential to her. She was on the Today show this morning talking about the $40,000 that she was given for her troubles. The department paid her off versus going to court because they thought $40,000 was a savings, given what the legal bills would be. Who knew we could hit the lottery so easily? A couple of shocks and you get $40,000.

Flip over to the 6-year-old boy who took his multipurpose camping tool to school to eat his lunch with. He ended up suspended and sentenced to 45 days at reform school. The great offense? The camping tool had a little knife on it to go with the fork, spoon, and bottle opener. Instead of just taking it away, sending a note home to mom and calling it a day; the school system gets up on its "Zero Tolerance" policy bandwagon and ends up looking ridiculous. The child was asked what he learned from all of this. I was hoping he would say that he learned that adults have lost their minds and he would like $40,000 for his troubles. Instead he was very gracious and offered up that he learned he should ask an adult whether he should bring something to school out of the ordinary.

So you tell me. Who would you rather meet on the street? Grandma who is disrespectful and so self rightous that she cannot just apologize to the cop and the world for putting his life and hers at risk, or a well armed 6-year-old who just wants to eat lunch?

D

Please Don't Muzzle Joe Wilson

We need the Joe Wilsons of the world to be allowed their free speech. Never ever do we want to restrict someones right to say what's on their mind. How else do we truly understand the mind behind the face?

How great is it to be a South Carolina Republican in 2009? First we have Sanford who has shared the fact with the world, that he found the love of his life. Too bad it does not happen to be his wife. Now we have Joe Wilson making his mark in Congress. God bless you both. It is just like the Peter Pan fairies who need us to clap our hands to believe in them. The American people need you to just keep on speaking your mind because every time you open your mouth, you make your Democratic opponent's day.

So please Joe Wilson. Get an invitation to Meet The Press. Share your thoughts. I can only hope you get invited to the Today Show. Share your thoughts. I am sure you are a shoe in for any Fox network program. They will probably give you your own show. Keep on talking. Invite Sanford to appear with you; be a two for one deal.

Keep on talking. Your Democratic opponents will appreciate it, the American people need it.

Donna B

Irony

I am in the process of cleaning out a closet. I have a black belt in being a pack rat and find I fight a losing battle on this. I hate to throw out things but thankfully I am not to the hoarding level... yet. I try to keep it contained to a large rubber maid container in a closet and periodically I will go through and convince myself to part with things.

My latest "find" was the letter I received in July of 2002 telling me my mammogram was normal and I would not need another until July of 2004. Those who know me, know that in February of 2003 I found my breast lump and in March of 2003 I was diagnosed with breast cancer and in April of 2003 I had my mastectomy and in June of 2003, right after Michael's graduation from high school, I started chemo.

Lots of "ands." But the biggest AND is, if I had waited, I would not be sitting here in 2009 writing this.

Ironic

D

Grub Day

Definition of a grub: A worm-like larva from beetles; also can mean an informal meal.

Grub has a special meaning from my childhood. I think back now about 6 children and a very young mom all participating in "grub day." I look back now and realize what it really meant. No one seemed to think it strange for children ages 2 to 10 to have a mental health day. These days were had, when he left town. We were all co-conspirators. He never knew and no one ever told.

How sweet life would be for children to never have a need for another Grub Day!

Chunky

I struggle terrible with my weight, the self image or lack there of that comes with that and the huge fear that if I take my eye off the prize I will be over 300 pounds by Christmas. Whom am I kidding? I could be there by Thanksgiving. What a great thing to be good at!

There was an old song by a country western singer that was called "I was Country Before Country Was Cool." I changed the words to "I Was Chunky Before Chunky Was Cool." Look all around us today. The news is full of how obesity is rampant. Have you been to Wal-Mart lately? What is the deal with that? Sometimes I have gone in and instead of senior discount day, I think it is fat people day. Then I have to ask myself, what does that say about me, since I am in the store?

The majority of us are overweight. I used to be the unique one. No more. Now I have to share that achievement with others. Life is just not fair. Why can't I be better at just one thing than all the others?

I think eventually, we will have a realty show called "The Biggest Gainer." Never mind who can lose weight. Anyone can do that if you have a trainer to wear your fat butt out every day, starve you to death, or whatever. Look at Oprah. We always hear about who is helping her lose weight. Ever hear anyone talking about who helped her gain it back? Stedman never gets the blame. No big headline in National Enquirer screaming that Stedman stuffed Oprah full of Twinkies. Zip. Nada. Nothing.

Who knew that I was a child prodigy? The only problem was, it was in weight gain. So when you are watching the Biggest Loser, or the newest Fox show about fat girls dating the fat guy; remember that we are one step closer to the Biggest Gainer and I am betting there would be a line around the block to be one of the contestants.

Donna B

Git Er Done Girl!

It's official. I am the "git er done" girl. Fishing by the Rappahannock at the City Dock is about one of my most favorite things to do. I take my chair, my fishing pole, some "special" bait and just settle in and soak up the atmosphere. As a lot of people who fish know, it is usually never about the fish. I am usually limited to catching the same baby catfish or bass repeatedly. On day I sat down beside two young men who were fishing with their daughters. The girls were a bit more interested in chasing each other, shrieking (like only little girls know how to shriek), and in visiting others. Dads were manning the poles including a little Barbie fishing pole which belonged to the older girl. She was 5 though she did tell me she was almost 6. Almost 6 as it turns out means she had just turned 5 and almost 6 was one year away. Her friend had just turned 3.

At one point the almost-6-year-old had to go to the bathroom. Dad said "looks like we need to find the porta a john." Girl asked "what's a porta a john?" Dad responded that she was about to "find out." The 3-year-old decided she needed to go potty. When does that desire to want to go to the bathroom in pairs really start? Is it nature or nurture? Her dad was wise enough to point out that she was a big girl and could no doubt "hold it" better than her friend. I guess the female version of "manning up." Not one to back down to that kind of challenge; she agreed.

Ron showed up after a bit and the girls went into action. He was shown all the contents of the almost-6-year-old's purse. This included a broken mirror, a Dora The Explorer doll, a pink bracelet, and numerous other items. The prized item though was a toy camera. Not a real camera she was quick to explain. Her real one was at home and it had flowers on it. During this time I managed to catch my usual baby fish. The girls were very interested in touching it and of course quite upset when it was time to remove the hook. We said goodbye to the fish and tossed it back in. It would no doubt be caught by me again at some point, later in the evening.

Time went on, Ron left and the 3-year-old and her dad left; much to the almost-6-year-old's sadness. She then came up and reviewed the inventory in her purse with me again. I responded to some question and that is when she said it. "You sound like a git er done girl." Then she repeated it, just in case my git er done ears did not hear it the first 3 times. I could not even remember what she asked nor the question I answered, but apparently the "Virginia girl" came sneaking out and there it was. The evening was not over as I was approached by a woman who wanted to discuss the issues of the world and also the good looking guy she saw 2 hours earlier. She said he was a hunk and only wished she was 20 years younger. All I could think of is where is that almost-6-year-old when you need her?? Git er done!

Old People and Babies

Much ado has been made in the last 24 hours about the 67 year old woman who had the twins only to die a couple of years later. How come there is no one lamenting about all the 67 year old men who make babies and then die? Are they any less important in a child's life than mom? While I would agree 100% that it is tragic that mom has died, is it any less tragic when dad dies? Where is all the debate then about being too old to have kids? Just because she carries the baby should that make her any more important in that baby's life than dad? Ask all the fatherless children running around today how important a dad would be in their life? While we are on the subject of men and women; why is it okay for men to look like inept buffoons in television commercials but if we portray women in a negative way, everyone is up in arms? As the mom of three sons I find it extremely offensive that just because my children are male, they are somehow inept in some way and fair game to be treated as an inferior. I think women need to take the same stand for our sons that we take for our daughters and be as offended when our sons are treated as less than capable.

What Condition My Condition Was In

While searching for shoes on line I came across FootSmart, an on line shoe store. They carry not only shoes but also orthotics and other health-related devices. While putting in the parameters for what type of shoe I was looking for, I found a list of "medical problems" under the heading "Conditions." Included in that list was wide feet. Go figure that my wide feet are a medical condition! Then I looked further and found wide calves listed as a medical condition. I am a double winner! Apparently I had medical conditions that I was totally clueless about. I am wondering now if I should include these conditions when I fill out my medical history. What happens if I change insurance and I am asked about pre-existing conditions. Do I include wide feet and wide calves?

What about a 12 step support group? If I admit I am powerless over my wide feet and that finding shoes is next to impossible, have I completed the 1st step? I could then move on to admitting the exact nature of my wrongs trying to wedge my E width feet into D width shoes. I am sure the next person who tries those shoes on would appreciate my amends. Finally I could practice the 12th and final step by sharing my experience, strength and hope with others who are early in their acceptance of their condition.

Donna B

They Are Playing Our Song

I found myself strolling the aisle of my local supermarket when I heard "it." I had not heard "it" in 25 years.
"He is now to be among you at the calling of your hearts
Rest assured this troubadour is acting on His part.
The union of your spirits, here, has caused Him to remain.
For whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name
There is Love.
There is Love."

It is the song from my wedding. Right there in the middle of Giant Food. I think in 1984, that was the song everyone had at their wedding. I found myself humming it. Remembering the words as if they were just sung yesterday. The only difference was the occasional insertion of new lyrics like "clean up in aisle 6" and advertisements for a special on Coke products; 3 for $11.

There is Love....

When you Can’t Catch the Rabbit, Roll in Deer Poop

Ginger never lets the fact that rabbits allude her at every opportunity. She takes off after them as if it was the first time she has ever tried. Never one to let the fact that she never catches the rabbit get her down, she chooses what she considers her next best option… rolling in deer poop. She comes trotting back to the house extremely proud of herself not remembering that the rabbit was the goal. She quite obviously believes the deer poop was truly the goal.

So, we should never let the fact that the rabbit got away deter us from happiness. We need to take the lesson from Ginger. Stop, drop and roll.

If It Works Make It Yours

It used to be that the Democrats cornered the market on sex scandals and the Republicans owned the more mundane, boring, kick-back kind of scandals. Not any longer. In the news recently we have Republicans jumping on board with a vengence, adopting the Democratic way to scandal obviously believing that is the path to party recovery. Governor Sanford has definitely put the Republican spin on it. Kudos to Spitzer, Clinton and others. At least they did not confuse lust with finding their soul mate. Some how this guy thinks it is ok when we dress up the sex by throwing the word love in with it. And, to make his wife and family feel exceptionally special, we tell the world! Trust the Republicans to take something to a whole new level. Now if we could just get them to adopt a health care plan.

Percocet, Vicodan and Acetomenophin Oh My

Amazing that the FDA in its infinite wisdom wishes to remove these drugs from the market because people choose to ignore warnings about taking too much acetomenophin with one of the prescriptions, resulting in possible liver damage. Never mind all the good that these two prescriptions do.

But.... the FDA allows cigarettes to be sold and relieves their guilt of sucking up the profits on those sales by insisting on a warning on the package that they may cause cancer. To make sure we really mean business, we make it against the law to sell to minors. We don't sell to minors but we allow them to be trapped in cars while their caregivers slowly but surely asphyixiate them with second hand smoke. The Kinder, Gentler FDA. It all makes so much sense