You Deserve IT

"You DESERVE IT!" That is what the salesman kept saying at the end of the presentation. How many times do we hear that? The TV tells us. The radio tells us. The newspapers tell us. Sometimes they manage to tell us without telling us directly. It is insinuated. If you want to be a good parent, buy this for your kid. If you want to be a great husband, buy that for your wife. THEY DESERVE IT! The "it" can be as insignificant as a Frappe Cappuccino from McDonalds or as monumental as a new car, house, diamond, boat, or in our case, the Almighty mother of them ALL --- A TIMESHARE! We were told the entire presentation would be only 90 minutes and in return we would receive $100 worth of dining bucks and.... a FREE CRUISE! Time not being an issue for a change, we decided to have some fun. We handed over $40.00 to guarantee we would show up. We were promised a full refund at the end of the presentation which we did get back.

We showed up on time along with about six other couples. One wisely bringing their quite clearly sick 2-year-old so I knew the would be done in no time. I was jealous. We signed in and waited for our escort. Jim came and got us and whisked us off to the presentation room where the other couples were with their escorts. We made small talk and Jim truly seemed interested in us. Or, maybe he was just truly desperate for a sale. Jim promised that we would love the presentation and the gentleman who would be showing us their fabulous product. Finally the star showed up. Bill Boy Joe (BBJ) was a man in his 30's, a bit overweight, in a suit. He had a southern drawl that would melt butter; having grown up only 30 miles from Myrtle Beach. He talked about never going on vacation because he was too poor. He shared his very sad story of how terrible it was for him to have to go to the first day of school each year and share what he did NOT do on his summer vacation. He even confessed to actually lying one school year. His shame and embarrasment was palpable though it may have been more due to the fact that he it was pretty shameful to be using this as a sales technique.

BBJ's next step was to price out a typical vacation. We agreed that a cheap hotel room would set us back $100 per day. Food would no doubt be another $100 day day. Don't forget the enterainment. That is another $100 per day. He then did the math and based on $700.00 for a two weeks of vacation over the next 20 years, the figure was an astounding $28,000. Wowzer. Ron and I are still trying to figure out how by buying his timeshare we would no longer have to spend money on food or entertainment but at this point, there was just no sport in going down that road.

BBJ then showed us a picture of the typical hotel room of 2 beds, a bathroom, a coffee pot, small fridge and possibly microwave. All I could think of were the fun memories I have of sharing such a room with our kids. We ate cheap with donuts and juice in the morning, and whatever cheap for lunch and dinner. One of our happiest vacations was a hotel room in the DoubleTree at a Mall in Norfolk. The boys thought they had died and gone to heaven to actually "live" at the mall for a night.

We then were shown the timeshare room. It was a 2 bedroom, 2 bath, full kitchen apartment. We deserved it. He then finished up by telling us about his poor dead friend Bubba. His voice got very quiet and I believe he actually had a tear in his eye. He and Bubba reserved a time share at Daytona because being good old boys, they quite naturally were going to the NASCAR race at Daytona. Well as fate would have it, Bubba died quite tragically before the trip. BBJ was not going to go, but Bubba's parents said he DESERVED to go and Bubba would want him to be there. BBJ went out of respect to his friend Bubba and was so grateful he had such a nice timeshare to stay in. BBJ explained that by buying this time share we would be giving our children and grandchildren the vacation memories they DESERVED and I guess not the crappy ones that apparently we were guilty of sticking them with.

By the end of the now 90 minute presentation and we were still no where near done. Ron pointed this out to Jim when he came back to get us and he was genuinely shocked (at least he would like us to believe) that we were told only 90 minutes.

Jim wanted us to get in his car to go tour on of their ocean front properties. Following our rule of NEVER getting in a stranger's car, particularly one who did not even offer us candy, we refused.

The fun truly began when it was time to talk dollars. Apparently not only did we DESERVE the time share we also DESERVED 10 years of monthly payments at 16.5% interest along with a yearly maintenance fee of $1500.00. I think my most favorite part of the sales pitch was "look at what you will save over the next 15 or 20 years on vacations!" I wanted to say "Dude I have a 20% chance of being alive 5 years from now, what do you have for someone in that category?" I just did not have the heart to state that.

Needless to say, Jim and his very swarmy boss, Vic, were not happy with us because we just kept saying NO.

I believe they DESERVED IT!

Donna B